LIMELIGHT byot - satin

[vitainmorte]

Comments

[demonicdomestic]

I could see it depending heavily on who the others are matched with.

I tend to be more willing than most to endure consequences if they have the potential for a more favourable outcome. Neither Brocade nor Cashmere are particularly self-sacrificing, though both can be moved depending on circumstances. Calico and Serge are not, and Gingham most definitely is, though it's balanced by being sensible. You... I see as being very all or nothing. I don't know Gossamer well enough to say for sure, but I suspect she may be the same.

[vitainmorte]

[ her feather poof a bit, but her expression remains flat. ]

So you just want me to give up something is little to no personal value. Right?

[demonicdomestic]

No. I just want us to be comfortable with each other's sacrifices. Me with yours, and you with mine.

[He holds his hands out to her, palms up, offering.]

I would not ask you to consider my opinion without giving you an equal opportunity to evaluate any choice I wish to make.

[vitainmorte]

...

[ Eventually puts her hands in his, loose. ]

I have the feeling that your choices will be significantly more reasonable than mine.

[demonicdomestic]

[His fingers curl around hers, thumbs brushing the back of her hands.]

They may be. But that's all the more reason to talk it through.

If you believe you have no value, then sacrificing "yourself" will not be nearly as effective as you hope. Even though, to me, that would be a great loss indeed.

[vitainmorte]

I would not offer myself anyway. I know the worth of my life in this instance is low.

... Maybe you were right earlier and I should give up something like my sex drive.

[demonicdomestic]

Objectively, you have been making sacrifices in that area where I am concerned.

[vitainmorte]

It's not really sacrificial if it's not intentional.

... Ohhhh really getting into incel territory here. Maybe I should just become a nun.

[demonicdomestic]

Perhaps we should return to the topic of moderation, and how it has advantages over tipping into extremes.

[vitainmorte]

[ ssssssssssighs ]

Tell me what you're planning on giving up, then.

[demonicdomestic]

I'd yet to think about it in depth. My attention has been focused on preventing you from doing anything rash.

If you wish to know the true answer to this Producer's question... your future means more to me than the veil I've thrown over my past. But I suspect you wouldn't be comfortable with me offering that much.

[vitainmorte]

[ she mostly just looks confused, head slowly tilting. ]

... I'm not sure what you're offering.

[demonicdomestic]

I'm sharing with you what my own "extreme" would be: the sacrifice of the life and identity I've built in Port Manteau. That of "Satin" of Sun Sign, ordinary graduate student.

This is not what I plan to do. But it is what I consider you to be worth.

[vitainmorte]

[ There's a long, searching pause, where she just watches his face. Her own is-- stunned, certainly, but perhaps unfortunately also intensely, pointedly interested. She opens her mouth, perhaps to ask if he means it--

And then she pulls her hands away, apparently thinking better. ]

-- I shouldn't be worth that much to you. I have done nothing to deserve it.

[demonicdomestic]

I'm not surprised that you think of "worth" as something that needs to be earned. But I'm speaking of intrinsic worth, not transactional.

Are you familiar with the saying, "One man's junk is another's treasure"?

[vitainmorte]

ALRIGHT.

[demonicdomestic]

Are you sure? I don't mind continuing to explain.

[vitainmorte]

I'm not really interested in hearing someone justify calling me trash, dude.

[demonicdomestic]

I am not the one who views you that way.

[He sighs.]

I see you as... kin, of a sort. Someone who understands things about me that I very much doubt that others would. And someone with whom I've shared things to a depth and detail that very, very few other people know.

[vitainmorte]

I don't-- like the implication at all. That I'm just...

[ but she trails off to listen, wings folded tightly to her body and just staring at the floor. Distantly listening to the rattle and din of the train car and the mystery beyond it, behind Satin's words. ]

I am... glad. That you trusted me, with that.

...

Did you mean it? That you consider me "worth" that?

[demonicdomestic]

Yes.

If you wish to be sure of it, a "moderate" sacrifice would be "my ability to conceal the truth".

[vitainmorte]

[ So he won't actually do it.




She regrets the thought as soon as it crosses her mind, her wings simultaneously drooping. It would be terribly unfair to ask that of him. And truly too cruel, even if the insecure part of her brain demands to see proof of his supposed care.

She rubs her face. ]

Please don't go that far. It's fine. I don't need you to prove anything.

[demonicdomestic]

So you'd prefer something else?

[vitainmorte]

You should do whatever it is you're most comfortable with.

... I'm gong to go with sex drive, like you first said. It probably won't be worth very much, but I'm not sure I have anything else to give you wouldn't be upset about.

[demonicdomestic]

I can think of a good many more.

One's ability to read, or see colours, or generate one's own body heat. Sharp reflexes, heightened senses, certain blessings or abilities. The ability to conceal one's emotions, or keep one's thoughts private, or to obfuscate the truth. The ability to be in deep water or under the open sky without fear. And all those things that we value for our heart's protection -- one's distrust, or cynicism, or reticence.